Mad World
by toastedcalamari
Summary: This is the story of American Adept, Garth Greenestone, and his efforts to try to fit in at the Irish Sanctuary, make friends, and keep safe the one person he loves more than anything else. Will he be able to protect her? Or will he lose her forever, and so his will to live? Will include official characters from the series, OC(s), and a self-insertion
1. Chapter 1

**Short drabble for SP fan character, Garth Greenestone.**

**(I imagine he's being interviewed by someone, and they only record what he says. A short intro to possible future writings. Don't worry, future writings will not look like this)**

**Garth's POV**

Yeah, I'm American, born-and-raised. I was a member of the American Sanctuary for a few years. I got fed up with the general attitude of the place and moved here to Ireland. I've heard, and always liked, small fairytales that said magic originally came from Ireland. My mentor died a few years ago, and an Adept can only learn so much, magic-wise from other Adepts, so... I'm 19 anyway, so I can take care of myself.

But, I missed _her_. We still talked everyday, through email, and texting, but it wasn't the same as seeing her, hearing her voice, and getting to hold her.

Wait, what? Pfffft, _no_ she's not my girlfriend. I font feel that way about her. She doesnt feel that way about me either. No, she's my best friend. Like, my BEST FRIEND. There are no words to describe how much I love her. Platonically, that is. It was painful, texting and emailing her everyday, knowing that she would grow old and die, while I had to keep living. I finally convinced her to come to Ireland for vacation, and introduced her to magic. She was thrilled when she started learning elemental magic from a well-known tailor. Eventually she also moved here permanently, and we room together. I keep using pronouns instead of her name because she hasn't taken one yet. I'm trying to help her out, but she really can't make up her mind...

**Thank you for reading! I really want to continue this, but im not such a good writer... you'll just have to wait and see what i do!**


	2. Chapter 2 - Christine

**I want to make a couple of notes first. This story takes place a few years after Mortal Coil, assuming the following books, Death Bringer and Kingdom of the Wicked, never happened, and Ghastly is still a tailor, having declined being an elder. This is because I have not yet read those books, and I doubt I will get a chance to in the near future. So I guess that kind of makes this an AU? Anyway... In this chapter you will be introduced to... Christine! Garth's roommate and best friend! **

**Chapter 2**

**General POV**

* * *

Ugh. Garth entered the flat, flicking on the lights, and after placing his bag and sword by the door, made his way over to the couch and wearily flopped down face-first. It had been a LONG day, the kind that deserved to be in all caps. In fact, it had been one and a half days almost. Being just a regular back-up agent for the sanctuary instead of a detective, he was working in the holding cells processing an influx of mages who had formed a gang and terrorized mundanes **(A/N mundanes are people w/o magic, I couldn't remember if there was a canon word for this or not)** with magical pranks. Most were harmless, but more than a few ended up with broken bones and bruised egos. There had been way to many people in that group for a single gang. The whole thing was ridiculous. And it had come just before his shift ended, too. He hadn't been able to meet his roommate at the bus stop. He couldn't even text her, he was so busy. She would be angry with him in the morning.

He groaned, and shifted his head on the couch to look over at the cracked bedroom door, his mousey hair falling over one hazel-green eye. She was probably already sleeping. That girl never seemed to get enough sleep.

He quietly got up from the couch and treaded lightly over to her bedroom, the only one in the flat, and peeked inside. It was darker than black, so he opened the door a little wider. the light spilled into the room, illuminating a shapeless lump nestled in the comforter. He smiled to himself.

"Goodnight, Christine," he whispered softly. She didn't stir or make a sound. He beamed inwardly and withdrew his head, closing the door until it was just slightly cracked. He then returned to the couch, and after removing his shoes (GOD, his feet positively reeked) he unfolded the couch into a futon. He removed a blanket and a pillow from the closet, then removed his scarf, jacket, and pants. He flicked the lights off and stumbled back to the futon, where he slept the next 5 hours away in a black t-shirt and his favorite pair of purple boxers.

* * *

**Garth's POV**

I grunted as I woke up, laying face down and feeling a heavy weight that completely covered my body. Christine was angry at me, and she was showing it by trying to crush me in my sleep.

"Chrissy, please... I would have texted-" I managed to croak.

"Nope. Not gonna listen. You'll just have to lay there and suffocate until I forgive you," Christine interrupted me. I could hear some humor in her voice, though. She had sprawled out on top of me, her head propped up on her hands while both her elbows jammed into my shoulders. I could barely see her out of the corner of my eye, due to my unfortunate position. I sighed deeply. Then, before she could react, I easily rolled over, flipping her off of my back onto the futon beside me. My magic as an Adept gave me increased strength, which could rival that of a man three times my size, and allowed me to occasionally take on vampires that had shed their skin bare handed. Unbalancing a 120lb girl was cake. I turned on my side to look at her. Christine was in a baggy t-shirt with a cartoon sheep on it, with equally baggy sweats. Her dark, waist-long hair was mussed from rolling off of my back, and although she tried to scowl, her dark, almond-shaped eyes hid smiles. We both giggled at our antics and I got up to prepare breakfast. She curled up with my pillow.

"Could you make scrambled eggs today, Jeeves?" she called after me.

"Sure, anything else?" I replied. She called me Jeeves sometimes because I did most - no, all the cooking for us. I still think it's really weird her mom never taught her how to cook.

"I'll just have some toast with them, thank you. Oh, and I'll make the toast, I don't want you to burn it again." I'm ashamed to say that I can't make toast. I don't think it's really my fault, toasters everywhere just have it out for me.

I cracked several eggs into a bowl and whisked them with some milk while she retreated to her room to get dressed, with my pillow held hostage. I let her sleep in the bedroom, but we both kept our clothes in there.

Once I finished cooking and she was back out, it would be my turn to get ready for the day. Christine dressed in dark skinny jeans and a creamy yellow and white cardigan with navy blue stripes. I dressed in my work clothes for the Sanctuary, which were all a Bespoke design. A dark gray, fitted, military-style jacket with sleeves rolled up to the elbows, charcoal-colored jeans, and a pair of black shoes that looked casual, but were perfect for walking, running, and kicking people's faces in. I usually saw action at work, more often than not chasing petty criminals while detectives were busy elsewhere. Yesterday had been a slow day of guarding the holding cells and playing security guard. The Cleavers stationed there had been needed elsewhere. Probably another case with that Skeleton Detective and the young woman who was his partner. Her name escapes me, at the moment. Calorie? No, it was more like... something else.

* * *

After consuming breakfast and rinsing the dishes, we grabbed our coats and our bags, I picked up my sword, and we marched down to the bus stop. Neither of us had a car, and I hadn't even gotten my driver's license for this country yet. My American one was invalid.

"I'll do my best not to be late tonight, but if I am I will definitely call you," I said to her. She turned and hugged me, and I put my arm around her.

"Alright, I'm going to hold you to that. if you do make it back on time, though, what should we have for dinner?" She moved back to look at me as she asked this.

"We have some tortellini pasta in the freezer, does that sound good?" I retracted my arm. "Yeah, that sounds fine," She replied with an easy smile. We rode the rest of the way in companionable silence. The bus arrived at the Sanctuary first, and we hugged goodbye before I got off. While I worked at the Sanctuary, she spent her days with a man named Ghastly Bespoke. She helped him around his tailor shop, making notes and reminders for him about appointments and orders, and when they both had free time he taught her elemental magic, one element at a time. She was almost done with the last element, fire, and would soon come to work at the Sanctuary with me. I can't wait for her to join me. It will be harder to keep her safe, but I know she'd love it, and all I want is for her to be happy.

**I know, this chapter is really wordy, I tend to get wordy when I write. I'll try to avoid it in the future, however. R&R please? **


	3. Chapter 3 - New Friends

**Chapter 3**

**General POV**

Garth stepped off the bus, which had dropped him off at the Sanctuary in Roarhaven. He entered, walking between the Cleavers at the entrance without a second glance.

"Oh, crap," he mutters under his breath. He just saw the Administrator at the other end of the hall, and immediately turned the other way.

"WAIT! Garth!" It was too late, he'd been spotted. "Oh, _crap_." Garth sighed and turned around.

The administrator was a fairly unimpressive man by the name of Staven Weeper, with an equally un impressive history. As far as he knew, Weeper had achieved nothing significant before Garth came to Ireland except getting himself locked in a cell by a little girl... twice. He was nice enough, but seemed pretty self-important most of the time.

"Greenestone, I realize you were kept rather late last night, but I need you to stay focused today. you'll be going out in the field, seeing as a new case has come up," Weeper stated with an air of authority.

"Wha-" Garth protested, exasperation clearly showing on his face. "Wasn't that fiasco with the gang last night a case that just ended?"

"Hush!" He huffed in annoyance and handed Garth a piece of paper. "Here's the address, you'll meet the detectives there, and will be working more closely with them this time, instead of just back-up. Anything they need, you help them out, got it?" He raised an eyebrow, daring Garth to talk back.

"Yessir," He sighed and gave a mock salute, fervently hoping they wouldn't need him all through the night for this one.

* * *

Several minutes later, Garth departed the second bus at the address the Administrator had given him. He had arrived at an average-looking, two-story apartment/motel complex. He easily saw the group of magic-users and crime scene tape to one side of the parking lot and strolled over to join them. There was a large area of splattered blood drying on the pavement, which a few mages were already examining. It suddenly occurred to Garth that the Administrator had not told him who he would be working with/assisting. He resisted the urge to face-palm and scowled, wondering where and who the detectives were. He jumped when a hand suddenly patted his shoulder, and he turned to see the owner.

* * *

**Garth's POV**

I was immediately met with a skeletal grin. No, actually I met with the collar of a suit and tie and a long scarf, and then I looked up and saw the grin. He had a good foot-and-a-half on me, at least, and i took a step back in surprise.

"Greenestone? I assume you're him, since everyone else was already here." I could hear his teeth faintly clacking together as he spoke. "I'm Detective Skulduggery Pleasant, and I've been informed that you are to assist us on this case?" He tilted his head slightly towards me.

"Ah, yes, sir, I'm Garth Greenestone. I'm told to help you in any way I can," I shifted my bag and held out my hand. "I-its am honor to meet you." By now I was grinning, and was struggling to keep the smile from getting out of control. His voice was gorgeous... He grasped my outstretched hand with his own and shook it firmly.

"Ah, and this is my partner, Miss Valkyrie Cain," I finally noticed the young woman beside him, with dark hair and brown eyes, dressed all in black. I shook her hand as well.

"You're American?" She asked. She appeared to be my age, maybe a year younger. She was about the same height as him.

"Yeah, born-and-raised." I was actually pretty excited, then. I was meeting the Skeleton Detective! He was... actually pretty attractive, for a skeleton. Must have been the suit. I always did think skeletons in suits were attractive.

They walked around me and back towards the blood splatter, and began tossing back and forth theories on what had happened. I adjusted the straps of my bag and sword and followed. They both seemed to settle on one idea pretty quickly.

"Vampire?" The skeleton inquired.

"Vampire." Valkyrie said assuredly.

"Well that takes care of the what, now we just need the where. I'll call Erskine and let him know well be on a vamp hunt and stake-out." They turned away and Skulduggery pulled out his phone, while I took a closer look. I noticed something different from other vampire cases I'd previously helped with.

"Uh, guys, I don't think this is a typical vampire case." I called to the detectives. They looked at me questioningly, before Valkyrie asked, "What makes you say that?"

"Well, I've been on vampire cases before, and I've never seen this much blood from one victim before." I replied.

Skulduggery tilted his head slightly again, asking "And how do you know there was only one victim?"

I took a breath and pointed to the blood pool. "You can tell by the how the blood pooled. You can see the pattern of how they bled out, and the body had been drug on the ground a bit, smearing some of the blood." As I turned to look back at them they both seemed greatly impressed. I briefly wondered if Skulduggery had lips, would he be smiling now? He clapped his gloved hands, anyhow. "Bravo, Garth, you're very observant. But why would you think that a little more blood than usual means this isn't a usual vampire?" he asked me.

"Well... where's the body?" I pointed out plainly.

"What body?"

"The victim's body, of course!"

The two detectives looked around, before it hit them.

"Ah... There is no body..." Skulduggery realized.

"Vampires don't take bodies." Valkyrie said.

"And they don't eat their victims whole." I finished.

"So what do we have here, Detective Greenestone?" Skulduggery asked with humor in his deep voice. I blushed slightly, but continued. "Due to the amount of blood here, I think the victim was mauled first before a single vampire bit them. You can call the Grand Mage and tell him we're going on a vampire hunt," I paused, "But tell him now we're looking for _two_ vampires, one newly turned."

**I... don't have much to say about this chapter! Lots of dialogue, though. And Garth sounds like one of those investigators from crime dramas. Also, the Administrator, Staven Weeper is a character from the novels. He has three appearances in the books, two in The Faceless Ones, and one in Dark Days. He does actually get locked in a cell twice by Valkyrie. R&R please~**


	4. Chapter 4 - New Names

**Chapter 4 - New Names**

**A/N I will be trying to make following chapters longer, starting with this one.**

**Listened to Blackbird cover by Glee cast while writing this.**

**Garth's POV**

"Okay, so what now?" I asked.

"Now we investigate for dark dens where the vampires could be lurking," Skulduggery said, as he led the way to a sleek black car several yards away. Skulduggery took the driver's seat and Valkyrie climbed into the passenger seat beside him. I removed my sword and set it next to me in the back.

"Seatbelt," Skulduggery stated plainly as soon as we were all in. I silently complied. When I looked up they were both staring at me. At least I think Skulduggery was staring at me.

"...What?" I asked.

Valkyrie smirked and glanced at her partner. He grumbled and looked away before starting the car, and began pulling out of the parking lot.

"This car is a 1954 Bentley R-type continental, one of only 208 ever made, with a six-cylinder 4.5 litre engine. Skulduggery is pretty proud of it, so he's grumpy you barely gave it a second glance," Valkyrie told me without turning around.

"Oh..." I realized. "Well, it is a very beautiful car, Mr. Pleasant." I tried to make up for the mistake.

"Hmm... Skulduggery."

"What?" I queried.

"Call me Skulduggery, Garth," he kept his eye sockets on the road while he spoke.

"Oh, alright!" I responded, smiling to myself. "So, where are we going now?"

"We need to see a map that would show any dark, abandoned lairs where the vampires might have hidden themselves," Valkyrie told me, "So we're going to go see China. She has a few old, and more current, maps."

"I can't wait to see how he reacts when he sees her," Skulduggery chuckled.

"What do you mean?" I questioned.

"Oh, you'll see when you meet her," Valkyrie turned in her seat to smile at me knowingly.

"You should have seen Val when she met China," he said, mirth filling his voice at the memory.

"Hey, I snapped out of it quickly enough!" she said as she playfully hit her partner. The rest of the ride I spent listening to their light and easy conversation with each other. Skulduggery would say something witty, and Valkyrie would retort with a jab at his ego, to which they would both laugh. _Wait a second, are they flirting?_ I shook the thought away, as it wasn't my business. _They do make quite a pair, though._

* * *

It did not take long before we seemed to reach our destination. I left my messenger bag in the car as we piled out, but replaced my sword slung across my back. I followed my new friends inside, down a hall, and up a small flight of stairs. When we reached a particular door, Skulduggery held open the door for Valkyrie, and then for me.

I couldn't hold back a gasp as I entered. There... were so many _BOOKS_! I had never seen so many books in one place before. I loved books, I had ever since I was five years old. These looked old, and looked like they were more for research on various subjects, than the usual recreational reading I did. It was still incredible though. I walked over to the nearest shelf and gingerly touched the spines of the books there. They were soft under my touch, from age or being used, or both.

"Ah, my two favorite detectives. But who's your young friend here, who seems so enamored with my books?" I whirled towards the voice, and saw a beautiful woman descending stairs from the second level of the library.

"China, this is Garth Greenestone, and he's been appointed by the Sanctuary to work with us on a case for the moment. Garth, this is Miss China Sorrows, she owns the library." Skulduggery introduced us as she reached the bottom of the stairs and walked elegantly towards me. I held out my hand towards her.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Miss Sorrows," I told her.

She clasped my hand with both of hers and replied, "Oh, the pleasure is all mine, Garth. Please, call me China." She beamed at me. I simply returned with a small smile of my own. The confidence coming from this woman came in huge waves, and I fought the urge to choke on it. I decided that I didn't really like her. No one had any business having that much confidence.

"Um... can I have my hand back?" I said lightly. Her smile faltered a bit, and so did her confidence, I noticed with relief.

"Yes of course, Garth. I'm sorry, I'm not quite feeling myself today," something flashed in her eyes and she released me.

"That's no problem, China," I assured her. I saw Valkyrie raise her eyebrow from the corner of my eye. Something felt a little off, and China seemed puzzled.

Everyone was silent for a beat before Skulduggery spoke.

"China, we're here because we need to look at some maps. We're looking for any abandoned dark places a couple of vampires could hide, anywhere near this address," He showed her a slip of paper.

"Ah, yes, come with me, Skul," she led him away to another part of the library, while Valkyrie stayed with me as I returned my attentions to the books.

"Oh my god," Valkyrie exclaimed behind me. She came around to my side. "How did you do that?!" She looked shocked, albeit her open mouth was smiling.

"Do what?" I asked. _What was she talking about?_

"Th-that! You just... looked at her and said 'hi!'" She started giggling at whatever it was I had done.

"I really don't understand, you're going to have to tell me what I did Valkyrie..." I smiled, glad that whatever I had done wasn't so bad as she couldn't laugh at it.

She composed herself and just looked at me before saying, "Garth... she's an adept. One of her powers is that everyone, and I mean _everyone_, immediately falls in love with her. She loves meeting new people because of that."

The disbelief must have shown on my face because she started giggling again. "You really didn't feel anything?" She finally said.

"No, not really. I mean I did feel how confident she was. The sheer waves of confidence coming off of her were so palpable I almost choked on them. I don't really like her, actually," I admitted. Then after a pause, "Everyone? Are you sure?" she started laughing again, much harder, and put a hand on my shoulder to steady herself. "Oh, wow, that's fantastic."

After several more minutes of waiting, Skulduggery and China returned from the maps, and Skulduggery had three possible locations to look for the vampires. We said goodbye to China and left, though I turned to smile brightly at her before I walked out, sensing that her bad side was not a good place to be. She turned and stalked away.

* * *

"We should be prepared before we just haplessly walk in on two vampires, so I propose that the two of you get something to eat," Skulduggery instructed us as we pulled up outside a small diner.

"Skulduggery, I actually packed a lunch-" I tried to protest. I didn't want them needlessly spending money on me.

"Nonsense, if it's the money you're worried about, then don't. I'm over 400 years old, you tend to save up a lot of money in that time," he insisted, and I relented. He reached under the collar of his shirt and seemed to tap something, and before I knew it, his skeletal features disappeared under a face with skin and eyes and a nose.

"It's called a façade. It allows me to walk around without people screaming about the apocalypse," he explained to me.

We walked inside and Valkyrie and I ordered lunch. Skulduggery had nothing, and stared out the window. As I ate I studied his new face. He had dark, wavy, ear-length hair, a crooked nose and dark green eyes. I wondered if he looked that way when he was alive. I turned back to eating before he saw me staring.

* * *

Skulduggery paid for the food and we left. My phone vibrated in my pocket on the way back to the Bentley. I pulled it out and looked a the text.

_hey Garth! ur probably working rn, but i hope ur not too busy. can i come and work w u work rn? ghastly says im good to start working w sanctuary now and can fend for myself he even made work clothes for me wait till you see them! - chrissy_

I smiled and my heart warmed. "Hey, Skul, can we pick up a friend first? She wants to help out," I asked. "Pleeeaaaase?" I held my hands together and put on my best puppy dog eyes.

"... That look is not going to work, Garth. Can she fend for herself?" He sighed.

"Yeah, she's an Elemental, and learned some boxing from her teacher, too," I assured him, "She won't be any trouble, I promise, she wants to help!" I said pleadingly. I had missed spending as much time with her as I had before magic. Now we were in magic together!

"Alright, we'll go get her, but warn her about the vampires, and she is to stay in back of us if we're attacked," he complied. "Where is she now?"

"She's at Bespoke Tailors, Ghastly Bespoke taught her." I told him excitedly.

"Ghastly? He's a friend of mine... You got him to use magic?" *pause* "Seatbelt," Skulduggery had deactivated the façade once we were in the car. He pulled out of the parking lot and we were on our way to get my roommate and new working partner.

"It took a lot of begging. I didn't know anyone else who knew elemental magic that i could trust, and I wanted her to stay safe until she was strong enough to take care of herself," I told him.

"Hmm... wait, was she that girl I saw last time I went to see him? He told me she was his new assistant..." Skulduggery pondered.

"Yeah, that was her. She helped him work while he taught her."

We arrived at Ghastly's tailor shop several minutes later, and I hopped out first, running to the door. Just as I reached the top step the door swung open, and I saw a flurry of long dark hair and heard a squeal before she jumped on me, wrapping both arms and legs around me in her excitement.

"_Garth!_" She exclaimed in my ear. I didn't say anything, as I didn't know what her taken name was yet. I was also focusing on not losing my balance or dropping her. A hand steadied my back, and I turned to see Skulduggey's eternal grin. She also saw him and squeaked, dropping her feet to the ground in front of me.

"So who's your friend, Garth?" He inquired, clearly amused at her display of affection. I turned to gesture to her and said, "Well, this is my roommate and best friend..." I started.

"Ebony Stalwart!" she finished for me cheerfully. I smiled at her choice in Taken Name, as it fit her well.

"Yes, Ebony Stalwart. Ebony, this is Skulduggery Pleasant, the Sanctuary's Prime Detective, and his partner, Valkyrie Cain." Skulduggery nodded and doffed his hat in greeting, and Valkyrie waved.

"Ah, good, you've all met, I see." Ghastly appeared in the open doorway behind Ebony.

"Thanks for everything, Ghastly!" she said as she wrapped her arms around his waist in a hug.

"It was a pleasure, Ebony. I'll be sorry to see such a wonderful assistant leave." he patted her back.

"Sorry we can't stay and chat, old friend but we've got a couple of vampires to track," the skeleton apologized to the tailor.

"No problem, Skulduggery, but make sure to look after these kids. And, Ebony, you make sure to look after yourself, too. Vampires are very nasty. Try not to ruin the clothes too soon, you got that?"

"Sure thing, Ghastly!" She replied heartily.

We returned to the Bentley after saying our goodbyes and promising to visit again soon, "Ebony Stalwart" sitting next to me. I was so happy we'd finally be working together. I just hoped that I could protect her from the worst the magic world had to offer...

**A/N Christine finally has a Taken Name! From here on out she will be refered to as "Ebony"  
Also, remember I said that this is sort of an AU, where Ghastly declined the invitation to be an Elder, and Skulduggery does not know about China yet, nor has her apartment been destroyed. Tanith does have the remnant inside her, however :( She may or may not make an appearance.**


	5. Chapter 5

**I'm working on it, I promise :( Life has been hectic lately.**


End file.
